In the last couple years I have had the opportunity to explore my sexual self with open minded and open hearted partners. Because of my spinal injury I have limited sensation feeling light touch only above my nipple line. Down below my level of injury I can feel deep pressure and often experience chronic muscle tightness in my low back and hip flexors.
I have noticed that when I am with a partner who is open to sensual play that certain parts of my body are more sensitive and become orgastic when touched or kissed in a sensual way. My head, face, neck, shoulders, and chest all become receptors for pleasure. I find my body begins to relax and open. With these changes in my physiology the chronic pain in my hips and back begins to dissolve and a general feeling of receptivity becomes my new state of being.
I slowly begin to feel an erotic energy build in my body. Sometimes it begins in my pelvis right above my pubic bone. Other times it starts as butterflies in my belly. I use my breath to bring this erotic energy up my spine and then release a sigh that sends a relaxing vibration back down through my pelvis helping to further relax and discomfort.
One of my favorite Tantric positions that can be performed either clothed or unclothed is called Yab Yum. Traditionally the man sits cross legged and the woman sits on his lap facing him with her legs wrapped around. This intimate position allows for both partners to align their chakras or energy centers with each other. It also allows me to touch, kiss and move in many ways to please my partner. Through synchronized breathing and sighing I can circulate energy from my sexual center to my partner's sex center and then up through her heart center and back into my heart. This exercise stimulates both partners on a physical and energetic level. I have experienced many energetic orgasms and my partner reports feeling a deep energetic penetration and often physical orgasms.
I have learned over the past several years since my spinal injury that there are many ways to make love. I have found such pleasure in light touch and kissing all over my body where I have skin sensation. The back of my neck, shoulders, and chest all produce erotic pleasure. By using tantric breathing I have learned to intensify this pleasure and spread it throughout my body.
A powerful shamanic meditation I learned from Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Ph.D. is called "Be One With Everything That Is." Basically you imagine that you are merging your energy with everything that is. Begin with your immediate surroundings and environment and then slowly expand your energy to encompass more and more of everything that is. It is my personal belief and experience that God and Spirit lives in everything that is alive which includes all humans, animals, plants, minerals and the planet. Therefore when you merge your energy with Everything That Is you are filling your entire being with Divine Energy. Try doing this meditation 5-10 minutes everyday and see what you notice. I often feel very energized and full of love.
It is my experience that love is an energy not just a feeling. It is a generative act that we can create at will. We do not need to be in a relationship to experience love. We can ask for Divine Love to be the source of our fulfillment. Be One with Divine Love and allow it to fill you completely. And then practice transmitting love to as many people you can. Just making eye contact and sending them pure love can be an extraordinary and beautiful experience. This is the essence of "making love."
Try just sitting with a friend or lover, breath deeply from your belly and drop your attention into your sit bones. Gaze softly into their eyes and allow your heart to open. With each breath allow love to pour out of your eyes and then into your heart. You can also shift this practice to feeling energy flow from your genitals into their body and then up through the heart back into your heart.
As you can see, there are many ways to "make love." Please let me know the ways you make love and together we can heal and transform this planet.